Why
are guys always asking: “What do women want?” Isn't it
obvious? Whether married or single this applies to every man: What
women say they want is not really what they want, because what
they want is for a man to give them what they want without
having to tell them. I know it is a long sentence with a lot
of “wants” but if you think about it for a moment it should
make sense. In other words, asking them what they want is
pointless. Think about it, young single women often say they
want a nice guy who buys them flowers and treats them like a
lady, yet they are dating some jerk, who treats them like the
dirt under a farmer's fingernails. The bad news is, that women
are usually more initially attracted to jerks, but the good news
is they ultimately want a good man (not just a nice guy).
This entails being stern, strong, sometimes nice, often
surprising, stable and acting like a manly man who has his shit
together, and not being an asshole nor a wimpy pushover.
Being a real man is easier than trying conform to the modern
social expectations of gender roles and succumbing to the powers
of unisexification.
Enough
of this rambling, let’s explore some practical things that a
guy can do to win over the girl of his dreams or to make his
woman a happy one. The following article, Forget flowers,
is written by a woman and it will give us foolish males a sneak
peak into the little hearts of women and what they really want.
I know I said asking them is pointless, but I asked her to write
it using a logical, systematic and common sense approach, since
that is the language of men (women speak in feeling and desire
codes that a deciphering machine couldn’t figure).
Forget
Flowers: Give Her What She Really
Wants
Believe
me when I say that there are a lot of things a girl would rather
receive from a guy than a dozen roses.
While flowers themselves may be colourful and fragrant it
isn’t the flowers themselves that make her smile, but the
gesture. It’s
proof that he thought about her that day.
It’s an excuse to brag about him to her friends. It
isn’t the bouquet that matters; it’s the time it took him to
choose, buy and deliver them (or, the time it took him to call
FTD).
Knowing
this, an intelligent man ought to substitute the typical
wildflower arrangement with a far more creative (and
significantly less expensive) act of affection.
I know what you’re thinking:
“Easier said than done.”
But that’s what makes flower giving so stale, that
it’s easy, and foolproof.
Showing up at her door with a bunch of daisies can’t
hurt, but a badly written poem can.
So
I’ll help you out. I’ll tell you want to do – and more
importantly, what not
to do – to keep her happy (because if she’s happy, you’re
happy!).
1.
Don’t attempt poetry unless you’re great at
it.
How do you know if you’re great at it?
Well, if you have to ask yourself this question, then
you’re not. Most
amateur poets are great at rhyming, and are capable of coming up
with a clever little sonnet (12 lines) in just a few minutes.
If you find yourself staring at a blank sheet of paper
for too long, put the pen away.
2.
Show up at her door unexpectedly, and tell her that you
can’t stay long. And
mean it. She’ll
be genuinely surprised when she opens the door and sees your
adorable face and
she’ll be flattered that you took time out of your busy
schedule to visit her. If
she’s not home, even better!
Tape a simple note to her front door and she’ll cherish
it for years to come.
3.
On that note… Write
her a note! Anything,
absolutely anything goes. Whether
it’s a request (“Sushi tonight?”) that you tape to her
computer screen or a comment (“You’re hot”) she’ll be
blown away by the sheer cuteness of it all.
4.
When she looks particularly striking (whether she’s on
the beach or in her pajamas), tell her so.
Don’t be afraid to pay her a genuine compliment.
Nothing sounds better to a girl than “You look
beautiful tonight.” Well,
other than “You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.”
Restrict the use of this word to special occasions only,
because it will otherwise lose its luster very quickly.
5.
Take her to the zoo.
Take her to see a kid’s movie.
Take her to Toys ‘R’ Us and tell her that she can
have anything she wants under $20.
(All
of these options are cheaper than flowers and way more
memorable.) Anything
that’s associated with children is light-hearted and fun.
And anything that’s light-hearted and fun will turn a
mediocre date into a marvelous one.
It
isn’t hard to make a woman happy, contrary to popular belief.
Even the so-called high-maintenance ones are relatively
easy to please. All
it takes is time. That’s
what she really wants from you – your time.
If she doesn’t like the birthday gift you gave her,
it’s probably because you didn’t invest enough time
in figuring out what she wanted (all it takes is a few phone
calls to her best friends!).
What’s her most common complaint?
“We don’t spend enough time
together.” Of
course she pretends to understand that you have a life outside
of her, but deep down she really doesn’t understand.
And she never will.
So
take my advice and make your moments memorable.
Good relationships require work, and you’ll need to
stimulate each other in new ways (in and
out of the bedroom) in order to keep it exciting and fun.
It’s simple: If
you stop trying to please her, she will stop being pleased.
Forget the flowers – they’ll die in a few days,
anyway – and invest your time and money into something that
has staying power, like a pair of coffees and a summertime
sunset.
