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I love you! Don't say it too soon

Home > Articles > Why the three magic words aren't exactly magical

-by Luigi Di Serio, edited by Aaron S.Bayley

What are those three magical words that every woman wants to hear?  If you guessed "I love you", you guessed correctly.

All women love to hear their sweet, adorable, romantic men tell them these words, right?

Wrong.

The notion of loving someone is far beyond human conception, and society is abusing this phrase more than a battered housewife in a Louisville Slugger warehouse that doubles as a boxing gym.

The quicker these words come out of your mouth, the quicker you will NOT be getting laid, and the quicker her attraction to you will fade. I've stressed it before in previous articles, and I'll say it again:  Sex is primarily a physical need for men, and an emotional need for women. When a man is attracted to a woman, sometimes he feels compelled to tell her that magical phrase in an effort to win big points. But this can produce the exact opposite result. Naturally, women have always thrived on the suspense and mystery of playing "he loves me, he loves me not" petal-plucking game to satisfy that emotional need. A woman needs only the slightest hint that you "love" her, and that is enough to fulfill her emotional desires.

But then what?

She knows she can have you, and you are under her control, which can become a very dangerous enterprise (does the term "whipped" mean anything to you?). There is no more anticipation, no more build up, no more mystery, no more curious excitement. These are the things that hold people attracted to each other in a relationship, especially and specifically early on in a relationship.

You're probably asking yourself, "But what if I really DO love her?" To that, I offer some simple yet sound advice: DON'T TELL HER!!! Talk is cheap, but actions are not. Don't tell her, show her, by being interested in her. Give her spurts of attention, then pull away. Keep the relationship exciting and refreshing. Women like men who they "feel" attracted to; men of ACTION, not weak, emotionally wreaked wussies.

If you "feel" that you love a woman and are eager to tell her, follow this formula:

Take the amount of time that you have dated her (in months). Now place a one over it, like a fraction (i.e. if it is 4 months, you will make it into 1/4). Now, multiply that number by 36. There, you are done! The number you arrived with is the number of months you should wait before telling her those not-so-magical words. If you can wait longer than that, all the better. Women should be discussing their feelings with their girlfriends, not you.

Here is the mathematical equation:

(1/D) * 36 = X

D= number of months dating
X= how many months (at minimum) you should wait to tell her "I love you"

The point is that too many men are emotional basket-cases, acting on weak impulses fueled by insecurity largely due to unisexification (see articles on this phenomenon). Women love a challenge, not some dolt who falls head-over-heels in love with her after two dates. A couple of rules that accompany this formula are:

1) If you are not dating the woman exclusively, you should NEVER TELL HER "I LOVE YOU" (especially if the two of you are just "friends", and you are pathetically falling in love with your friend, which is sadly all too common these days)

2) If the woman says "I love you" first, simply reply with, "I know...you should!" This helps build tension and attraction that is guaranteed to explode into unbridled intimacy.

Love is a special, elusive experience that grows and strengthens over time. It is based on dedication to making the relationship work, sacrifice, loyalty, commitment and duty. These are not things that just happen overnight. So for now, tell her that you know she loves you, but never say you love her, unless it is your wedding day or either one of you are on your death beds.

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