The Real Man in the Masculine Matrix

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The Male Matrix and Masculine Energy Spectrum
-by Luigi Di Serio

The Male Spectrum divides men into 4 basic categories: The Wussy/Geek, The Metrosexual, The Macho Man and The Real Man, comparing them against a variety of virtues and traits.

Overall, this list gives a sense of what a “real man” ought to be like.

Virtue/Trait	Wussy/Geek	Metrosexual	Macho Man	Real Man
Personality	Passive	Flakey	Aggressive	Stern
Bravery	Cowardly	Worrisome	Reckless	Courageous
Social “face”	Timid	Relaxed	Obnoxious	Approachable
Labour	Workaholic	For The Money	Lazy	Gets the job done
Generosity	Giver	Cheap/Selective	Taker	Compromises
Physical Prowess	Push-Over	Reactive	Abusive	Honourable
Sexuality	Restrained	Eager to please	Dominant	In Control
Sense of Freedom	Oppressed	Very Liberal	Exploitive	Respectful
Expression of Desires	Repressed	Rash	Obsessive	Moderate
Honesty	Transparent	Ambiguous	Deceptive	Fair
Reason	Data-Driven	Ignorant	Arrogant	Wise
Humour	Nerdy	Silly/Absurd	Rude/Offensive	Tasteful

The Wussy is a man that has been neutered. He’s become so reserved and self-loathing that he has essentially “given up” and is neither driven nor passionate (a passion for his X-Box doesn’t count). Many of these types are just plain losers with women and have no skills in dealing with the opposite sex. The qualities they possess are very needy ones and are fueled by insecurity. Women are seldom attracted to The Wussy and men rarely respect them.

The Metrosexual is essentially a male that as been adversely affected by social pressures and Unisexification. A woman would call him “a straight guy with style,” but I call him something else: He is a man that’s decided that conforming to women’s demands and behaviors is the easiest way to win them over. But ultimately... It doesn’t (read my metrosexuals article for more). He is typically a mamma’s boy (excessively attached to his mother or similar social figure or concept; lacking normal masculine interests) and by definition not gay, but acts that way. One becomes a metrosexual either by a sudden revelation or by a process of slow cultural moulding, though typically the latter. When you examine the spectrum of traits for The Metrosexual, his qualities closely resemble those of a woman.

The Macho Man has a lot of qualities that can be attractive to women, but only because they are usually opposite qualities than women have. Nevertheless, The Macho Man is similar to The Wussy as he is also motivated by insecurity. But rather than being a pushover, he maintains a tough exterior to protect his weak, apprehensive self. This man is often abusive and very selfish. Criminals come to mind when you read his qualities, but there are a lot of regular guys who fit this category. The Macho Man may be hard to sniff out because he doesn’t behave this way all the time, especially not at work or around his family, but when alone with a woman he becomes imposing and oppressive, to make himself feel real tough when no one else is around to put him in his place.

When you read the qualities of The Real Man, you can easily paint a mental picture of the type of guy he is. He is confident. And actual confidence means that he has trust in himself. The word derives from the latin form, confida, which means “with faith.” Faith in oneself means that you believe in yourself, you stand up for what you believe in, while allowing others to do the same. You can enjoy yourself, but you are not controlled by emotional impulses. The Real Man is in control, but not controlling. Makes sense, right?

Now what if you don’t fall into any of these categories? Then you’re The Average Male, which will be across the board, so-to-speak, possessing a variety of traits and virtues from each of these categories. But if you’re looking at the spectrum and are fumbling to place yourself, you might one to focus on one trait at a time and try to become more of a man with small, continuous improvement. A priest at my church said recently: "A real man is one that would do anything for his wife and children. Anyone else is not a man, but simply a male." I assure you that in order to feel like a man you must act like one. If you’re a woman reading this and your boyfriend/spouse is not up to par, don’t panic: Kindly slip this article into the Sports section of tomorrow’s paper and (if you’re lucky!) he’ll get the hint.