Articles > How to
figure them out
written by Luigi Di Serio, edited by Aaron S.Bayley
Some guys just don't get it. I never used to get it. And now I
do. You want to know what a girls really want? Well it's a paradox.
You see giving them what they want is really just giving back to
yourself. Read on, you'll understand what I mean.
Parents (our social upbringing), our schools, and especially the
media- through movies, music videos (e.g. crappy songs like
Christina Aguilera's "what a girl wants"), commercials,
soap operas and sitcoms- have all told us how to treat a woman and
"what a girl wants". But has it ever occurred to you that
women never fall for "nice guys" who try to give them what
they want? Furthermore, has it ever dawned on you that WOMEN DON'T
KNOW WHAT THEY WANT anyway? Do you get the irony in all this? I hope
so. However, *getting it* just doesn't cut it, in order to give a
girl what she wants and needs, you need to understand it, and you
need to live it.
So how do you understand and live it? You care, by not caring at
all. The best way to understand what a girl wants is to not ask that
question at all. Just don't care. WHO CARES WHAT SHE WANTS? Why
should you anyway? By not caring you allow them to be free, to do
whatever so they please, thus giving them their own God given
freewill. Since women change what they want as often as a baby's
diapers are changed, you can't really care about what they want, you
will simply go crazy trying to give a girl what she wants. The
feeble male mind is not equipped to handle such drastic fluctuations
in desires. You'll need to give her not what she wants but what she
needs, and that is a steadfast rock. Woman are like a massive ocean
of emotion. They flow and change like the waves and tides. They
really have no direction. Whilst they can give to you the calmest
and most peaceful experience, they can also brew the fiercest of
storms sinking every man's ship that crosses their path. So if a
woman is an ocean, what can a man be to give her what she wants?
A man should be a shoreline and rocks. Steadfast and upholding to
his own rules and values. By doing so the ocean will be free and
wild, but know its limitations, thus staying bound by the strength
of the man. If women are water, then men are (or ought to be) the
natural counterpart; land. Think about it, what's the best way to
care for the environment? You leave it be and you be with it, but
there is nothing it needs from you to be beautiful and balanced. The
environment and eco-systems balance themselves out.
I know this sounds a little abstract, so, I'll give 5 rules that
men should abide by and in doing so, indirectly giving a woman what
1) Be an individual - Live for yourself. Improve and grow as an
individual. No other person can "complete" you, but they
can certainly completely screw you up and over. Don't live to please
women, because you simply can't. If issues arise on your end, deal
with them. If issues arise from their end, let them deal with it.
Love cannot exist with out freedom of will and choice. That's why
people go to war over freedom, it is the essential ingredient that
separates man from beast.
2) Be a assertive and do what you say
- You get what you ask for in life. Have high standards, make them
known and them leave it be. If you are fearful or jealous or
aggressive or use guilt to try to convince a woman to be in a certain
way, she'll do the EXACT opposite. Ever told a child "DON'T YOU
DARE DO THIS or THAT?!" What do they do. Exactly what you told
them not to. Maybe they will refrain out of fear, temporarily that is,
but eventually they will make it their goal to do exactly what you
don't want them to. Why? Because freedom is more important than any
other thing to the human spirit. God made us have the ability to love
by choice not by force.
3) A man with no vices is not a man at all - We all know women love
bad boys. Why? Because they want to change them, or at least see if
they can be have a man with messed up priorities stay loyal to them.
How come supposedly smart women do such stupid things? Because it
assures them of their self worth. Remember, woman are SO SELFISH that
everything they do is to test their own self worth. That's why the
hottest and most admired women usually crave the most attention. They
really don't have much of an identity (other than their
looks) so they look for validation. You want the woman to focus on you
more and her less. How do you do this? Easy... you take risks, ignore
her plenty and make her feel like your slightly out of reach or
disconnected, then you reconnected just before she's ready to have a
breakdown. You are her hero. Think about it. If you are starting to
date a super hot women, and at a party, she has every male looking at
her and hitting on her, and you act like you could care less, sipping
your beer, watching a game, talking to
and other women, she'll only be looking at you and only you. Vices
that destroy your health are probably not good ones, but if you love a
meat, every now and then, by all means, indulge.
4) Be slightly arrogant and into yourself more than you are into
her - Be a little cocky, but in a funny (smirk on your face) kind of
way. Girls like to smile and laugh. It makes them feel EXCITED *wink*.
She'll go over the top to try to get your attention, so don't crack,
be steadfast. A woman's goal is to freely GIVE herself to you, not for
you to TAKE her
(although they do want the man to take
them literally and not figuratively in another sense, think sexually
here). She's not
an item that you "pick up" in an aisle off a grocery store
shelf. So don't try to please her by buying her gifts or dinners. She
wants to let go around you, and to do that she needs to see that you
are confident in yourself.
5) Be single even when your dating - NO, THIS DOES NOT MEAN BE A
CHEATER. It means have a shit load or friends and hobbies so you don't
start relying on a woman for entertainment. Women's entertainment
Too many men are becoming too feminine. It is really
gross. Pop culture and the corporate marketing ploy to paint a massive
gray line between the genders and sexuality and have created so many
unfulfilling relationships, broken families and silly dating drama
games, literally fucking up people's lives. Please read the articles on Unisexification to shed some light on why this is
occurring. I'm sure we've all been through it. I am asking the guys to
read this and apply their own logic here; it is up to you to BE A MAN
AND PUT AN END TO THIS FIASCO.